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Sorry.

I know this is the most fun thing in the world.

I was happy just riding in the front seat of your car.

You probably hear this a lot, but you're like Princess Pretty.

I don't know about that.

But you are definitely Princess Material.

Well, tell them a lot to wear makeup.

This is as hot as I get.

You don't need makeup.

I hope you're right.

Mom's just have to wait till I'm 16.

That'll get here sooner than you think.

Sure doesn't feel like it.

Don't be in a rush.

Honestly, I'd rather be your age again.

Really?

Yeah.

Being a grown up is, uh, complicated.

Maybe if we make a wish at the same time, we could switch places.

You think?

It's worth a try.

OK.

What do we need to do?

We close our eyes and the exact same time say, I wish I could switch places.

Ready?

One, two, three.

I wish I could switch places.

Well?

I'm still here.

You?

Same.

That's too bad.

I didn't really want to drive home. Can I anyway?

Sure.

Really?

No. Please, can we keep her?

No, we cannot keep her.

We don't have a dog because of Sheldon.

Why can't I have Veronica?

I'm not participating in this conversation.

We could give Sheldon to Veronica's mom like a trade.

I'll get it, Mrs. Cooper.

Look how helpful she is.

Come on.

Out.

I'll have the ribeye medium rare.

And for you?

Uh, just the house salad, please.

Very good.

House salad?

You watching your figure?

I have a physical tomorrow.

Oh.

So your plan is to start eating healthy now?

Can't hurt.

It ain't gonna undo 70 years of red meat and beer.

I'm not trying to undo it.

I'm just trying to hide it under some lettuce.

How's that salad?

It sucks.

How's your steak?

You know how they overcook it sometimes so it's a little bit dry?

Uh-huh.

Not this time.

It's so good.

You know what else is good?

This radish.

Would you like some steak?

Yes.

Then you probably should have ordered some.

It's delicious.

You are not a very nice lady.

It's no big deal.

It's a colonoscopy. So?

So one of those words means colon and the other means shoving a camera up it.

Hmm.

I'm surprised you need one.

Did you tell him about the salad?

It's not funny.

Stop being such a baby.

something I have pushed out of my body.

You can do this.

I got an idea.

Why don't we do it together?

What?

Now, come on.

It'll be romantic.

You're weird.

You'll be happy to know I went out and got a checkup.

Fantastic.

Yeah, great, just great.

Now you can shut up about it.

Well, how'd it go?

Good news, bad news.

Uh-uh.

Good news is I'm fine.

Well, now, isn't that comforting enough?

Don't be smug.

So what's the bad news?

100

He wants me to have a colonoscopy.

101

Great!

102

Oh my gosh, we can do it together!

103

Can't you just feel the romance?

104

No, you weirdo!

105

I can't believe we have to drink so much of that garbage.

106

The important thing is we get to do it together, dear.

107

You are so full of crap.

108

Well, not for much longer.

109

Excuse me.

110

The festivities have begun.

111

You taking that whole thing with you?

112

I'm gonna be a while.

113

Sorry I'm late.

114

Shalom.

115

What's on your head?

116

A yarmulke.

117

A yarmulke what?

118

It's a special Jewish hat.

119

It reminds the wearer that God is always over you.

120

Mom?

121

Oh, come on.

122

It's funny.

123

It's not funny, and it's not a yarmulke.

124

It is a coaster I crocheted at Bible camp.

125

Are you going to say something to him?

126

Normally I would, but I got bigger problems right now.

127

Let's just say Grace.

128

Hold on.

129

Are these hot dogs kosher?

130

Um, how can I help you?

131

I'm currently a Baptist, and I'd like to convert to Judaism.

132

A Baptist named Sheldon.

133

Okay.

134

And why do you want to convert?

135

Very simple.

136

It's my intention to become a great scientist, and I couldn't help but notice most of the great scientists are Jewish.

137

So logic dictates it's time to switch teams.

138

Well, I'm sure there are many Baptist scientists you could emulate.

139

That's kind of you to say, but other than Cornelius Treble in the 1500s, it's pretty slim pickings.

140

Well, Sheldon, you sound like a very smart young man.

141

Oh, you have no idea.

142

Can I ask how your parents feel about this?

143

Well, when I presented them with my plan, the words over my dead body were used.

144

I'm not surprised.

145

But they were similarly resistant when I wanted to get an ant farm, and eventually they came around.

146

All right, here's what I'm going to tell you to do.

147

Read your Bible.

148

Already did.

149

Cover to cover.

150

Really?

151

Quiz me.

152

No, that's okay.

153

I believe you.

154

All right?

155

My advice to you is to stay with the faith of your parents.

156

What else you got?

157

Okay.

158

Then I'm going to tell you to be your own man.

159

But I want to be a great scientist like Albert Einstein.

160

Sheldon, when your days are over, God will never ask you, why weren't you Einstein?

161

But he might ask you, why weren't you Sheldon?

162

And you might want to unhand me.

163

I'm friends with Tommy Clarkson.

164

Is that so?

165

Yes.

166

Hello, Tommy.

167

I have some unfortunate news.

168

What's that?

169

I boasted to Jason Davies that you're my friend and things took an unexpected turn.

170

You're scheduled to fight him at 3 p.m on the basketball court.

171

I don't want to fight Jason Davies.

172

I don't think you have a choice.

173

He was pretty adamant.

174

Fine.

175

I'll deal with him.

176

You do have the option of simply not showing up.

177

That's not how fights work, Sheldon.

178

Why?

179

Do they take attendance?

180

Are you familiar with the story of David and Goliath from the Bible?

181

Yeah.

182

That's too bad.

183

I had a nice speech prepared.

184

I'll say it anyway.

185

You may have the size advantage, but like David and his sling, I also possess an air-based weapon.

186

So I'll give you one more chance.

187

Are you willing to step down?

188

I'll tell you what.

189

You take the first shot, then it's my turn.

190

Very well.

191

Three.

192

Two.

193

One.

194

Ow!

195

Son of a bitch!

196

I'm going to run.

197

What is that?

198

It's a cotton candy machine.

199

Why?

200

It's a machine that makes free cotton candy.

201

It's not free, you paid for it.

202

Meemaw paid for it.

203

And it's still better than lame stocks.

204

You're going to end up with a stomach ache while I get to be part of America's favorite electronics retailer.

205

What's that?

206

I figured out you can put all kinds of candy in the machine.

207

Try this.

208

Why is it brown?

209

It's butterscotch from Meemaw's candy bowl.

210

I think that candy's older than you.

211

Doesn't taste like it.

212

Not bad.

213

I'm going to bring a bunch to school.

214

How much are you going to charge for it?

215

Nothing.

216

They're my friends.

217

You think Ronald McDonald let his friends eat for free?

218

Ronald McDonald isn't real.

219

The point is, you shouldn't give this away for free.

220

How much would I even charge?

221

How about 50 cents?

222

They only cost me like two cents to make.

223

Yeah, but you're not factoring in your time and the cost of the machine you bought

224

And the value of the brainpower it took to think of Butterscotch cotton candy.

225

Yeah.

226

No one else thought of putting old lady candy in a cotton candy machine.

227

Why should they get it for free?

228

Welcome to business.

229

Thank you for having me.

230

So I said 70 cents for one or two for a dollar, and everyone bought two.

231

People love a deal.

232

I know.

233

I sold out.

234

Then you gotta start charging more.

235

How much more?

236

Just raise the price a little at a time until you see your profits top out.

237

Think they'd pay a dollar a piece?

238

Sure, just tell them it's a special lemonade edition.

239

People go nuts for that.

240

Like the Shamrock Shake.

241

Exactly.

242

Every year I'm like, this tastes like toothpaste.

243

But every year I buy it.

244

My sister transformed her money into a thriving business that was eventually shut down due to an infestation.

245

Ew.

246

I'll just get right to the point.

247

I would like you and your son to meet with a very important benefactor of the college.

248

Why us?

249

Well, Sheldon is an impressive addition to the physics program,

250

and we like our donors to feel really good about where their money's going.

251

I get it.

252

You want the star quarterback to shake some hands with the boosters.

253

Exactly.

254

I'm not doing that.

255

I didn't shake her hand, and she's the president.

256

No, you don't have to shake anybody's hand.

257

Then why did you say it?

258

I didn't say it.

259

He said it.

260

But you agreed with it.

261

All I'm asking you to do is to go to dinner, talk about science with a very nice and, more importantly, a very rich person.

262

Understood.

263

No, thank you.

264

Buddy.

265

All right, Sheldon, I was brought to this school to help raise its profile.

266

And one of the ways to do that is through grants and donations.

267

You can understand that, right?

268

I understand that you would like to put the novelty of my age and advanced intellect on display to raise some cash.

269

No, just sort of.

270

Can I speak to you alone?

271

Will you give us a minute?

272

Very well.

273

But if you're looking to see if my father will be a potential donor, you are barking up the wrong tree.

274

Oh, Sheldon, think of it as a free dinner.

275

I'm a kid.

276

All my dinners are free.

277

Is what they're asking really that bad?

278

Yes.

279

I go to this university to study science, not to help collect money like an organ grinder's monkey.

280

You see me go to rallies and fundraisers at the high school.

281

I don't love it, but I do it.

282

And I hope they give you all the bananas you can eat.

283

Sheldon, donors like this are very helpful for the university.

284

They pay for all the science equipment and your scholarship.

285

I hadn't thought of it that way.

286

So I tell them we're on for Saturday?

287

I'll think about it.

288

What's to think about?

289

It's a night of you showing off how smart you are.

290

People do like that.

291

All right, I'm in.

292

Just got off the phone with President Hegenmeyer.

293

This guy we're gonna have dinner with sounds pretty interesting.

294

You ain't made all of his money selling anti-static furniture for laboratories.

295

He's not even a scientist.

296

He's just a furniture salesman.

297

Yeah.

298

What am I supposed to talk about?

299

Talk about whatever you want.

300

Just don't be insulting.

301

What if he says something I think is ridiculous?

302

Keep it to yourself.

303

What if you just said something I think is ridiculous? Because...

304

Okay, maybe we need to work a little on your conversation skills.

305

Like not calling people out for saying stupid things.

306

How am I supposed to practice that?

307

What's up?

308

Okay, Shabu.

309

Try having a conversation with Billy about science.

310

Let's see.

311

Uh, what do you know about quantum mechanics?

312

My dad's a mechanic.

313

At his shop, he has a calendar with a bikini lady on it.

314

Dad...

315

Instead of losing patience, act interested and then ask a follow-up question.

316

Your father's a mechanic.

317

Interesting.

318

You know what else is interesting?

319

That describes the basic particles and forces that make up reality.

320

Let's talk about that.

321

I'm gonna marry that bikini lady.

322

I've been working on a theory about the wave-particle duality of light.

323

I have a night light that looks like Spider-Man, but I don't turn it on.

324

Go ahead.

325

Why don't you turn it on?

326

I'm afraid of spiders.

327

Yeah, seems like a good place to stop.

328

Now what happens?

329

You go home.

330

Thank you for your hospitality.

331

Now, when you meet this guy, you gotta shake his hand.

332

What if I offer a stately bow?

333

That's how they do it in Asia.

334

You're shaking his hand.

335

Then it's a good thing I brought old righty.

336

You're not wearing that in a restaurant.

337

Why?

338

Because you don't make a good impression by being afraid to shake hands.

339

Howard Hughes was a germaphobe, and he did quite well for himself.

340

Didn't he go crazy and save his pee in jars?

341

Better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it.

342

You're shaking his hand.

343

Okay.

344

George Cooper, meet Gary O'Brien, the anti-static furniture king.

345

Hello.

346

Shocking to meet you.

347

Don't do that.

348

And this, of course, is our physics prodigy, Sheldon Cooper.

349

A great pleasure.

350

I had an obligation to fulfill.

351

So I closed my eyes and thought of science.

352

Just like on my honeymoon.

353

Hey, here's a funny prank you can try tonight.

354

When Tam falls asleep, put some shaving cream in his hand, and then tickle his nose.

355

Why?

356

Because then he'll go to, you know, scratch his nose and get shaving cream on his face.

357

And then what?

358

Well, that's it.

359

But I'm a guest in their home, and that doesn't seem like a very good way to repay their kindness.

360

Never mind.

361

And what if the shaving cream gets in his eyes?

362

That would sting.

363

Sorry I mentioned it.

364

Also, I didn't bring my own shaving cream.

365

I'd have to use his dad's phone.

366

Forget it!

367

Hello?

368

Hi!

369

You must be Mrs. Tam's mom.

370

I'm Sheldon's dad, George Cooper.

371

Nice to meet you.

372

Thanks for letting him spend the night.

373

It's his first sleepover.

374

He's excited.

375

Actually, I'm quite apprehensive.

376

He's really looking forward to it.

377

In case something comes up, just give us a holler.

378

I mean a call.

379

If you hollered, we wouldn't hear you.

380

That's a joke.

381

Okay, buddy. Have fun.

382

Visiting Tam's house for the first time was an emotional rollercoaster.

383

For example, it's traditional in Vietnamese homes to have gruesome religious iconography near the entrance.

384

I did not like that.

385

However, it's also customary to not wear shoes around the house for sanitary reasons.

386

I did like that.

387

Interestingly, one of the main ingredients in Vietnamese cooking is an extremely pungent condiment known as fish sauce.

388

I did not like that.

389

But before every meal, it's common for everyone to wash their hands and face.

390

I did like that.

391

Forks are not customary in a Vietnamese household.

392

I did not like that.

393

And instead of napkins, there was one towel for everyone to share at the table.

394

Seriously, what are they thinking?

395

Thank you for letting me sleep in your bed.

396

My father told me that we must always honor our guests and treat them with the utmost courtesy.

397

The Vietnamese are very welcoming people.

398

Yeah, that hasn't always worked out for us.

399

Do you think your dad would ever ask you to keep a secret from your mom?

400

Oh, no. He's so honest, it's annoying.

401

Enough talking!

402

Sleep now!

403

She's just annoying.

404

I'm doing it.

405

Okay, I'm gonna let go.

406

Don't let go.

407

I'm letting go.

408

Don't let go.

409

I already let go.

410

You let go?

411

I let go.

412

I'm doing it.

413

You're doing it!

414

I'm doing it!

415

Hey, Brenda.

416

Hey.

417

I just wanted to check in and see how Sheldon's doing.

418

He'll be fine.

419

He's just a little fractured.

420

Oh, poor kid.

421

Please, no. We feel terrible.

422

Yeah, accidents happen.

423

Hey, speaking of accidents, which this clearly was, insurance covers everything, right?

424

If you're worried about me setting your bill, don't be.

425

Wasn't worried.

426

I just wanted to bring you some food as a peace offering and promise it will never happen again.

427

Well, thanks.

428

Ooh, fried chicken.

429

Never again.

430

Don't worry, baby.

431

I cut everything into bite-sized pieces for you.

432

Maybe you could chew it up and spit it in his mouth.

433

Please.

434

Let's just say Grace.

435

Will you two help him with his mittens?

436

Maybe he doesn't wear them Then I'm not holding hands We ain't gotta hold hands?

437

Sweet I like when we hold hands We are holding hands, let's go, mittens Fine Gently, gently I'm doing it gently Well,

438

your tone suggests otherwise Just give me your hand Gently There Bless us,

439

Lord, for the food we are about to receive, and bless the hands that prepared it.

440

And bless Sheldon's arm to heal strong and quick.

441

Strongly and quickly.

442

Amen.

443

Amen.

444

I've never operated a fork with my left hand before.

445

I hope this goes well.

446

When my buddy Mikey got the cast off his leg, you will not believe how skinny and smelly it was.

447

Like beef jerky with toes.

448

Can we please just eat?

449

Chicken's good.

450

Mr. Sparks made it.

451

Huh?

452

Hello, Grant.

453

What brings you here?

454

I'm here to convince you to come back to the university.

455

A mind like yours needs to be working on the advancement of science.

456

We did that for 50 years.

457

Now I'm content just keeping these cucumbers crunchy.

458

But exciting new things are happening in string theory.

459

Don't you want to be a part of that?

460

Wasting years scrambling away at the academic hamster wheel?

461

constantly worried that your life's work is just one big dead end?

462

Sure, some paths of research may not pan out, but we still have to try, right? Do we? Of course.

463

I don't know.

464

Einstein spent the last 30 years of his life on the grand unified field theory and got nowhere.

465

Well, I wouldn't say nowhere, but I suppose he never did crack it.

466

And to this day, no one has.

467

True.

468

In fact, most of his major accomplishments occurred when he was a young man, which you and I most certainly are not.

469

Sometimes I look in the mirror and I think, who is that?

470

Would you like to give these cucumbers a spritz?

471

No, thank you.

472

Do you sell liquor here?

473

So what does it all mean, John?

474

Maybe you should ask someone who isn't drinking on a park bench.

475

You work your whole life.

476

It all seems so important to the time.

477

But is it?

478

That's a good question.

479

Puts me in mind of Camus' The Myth of Sififis.

480

Sififis.

481

Sififis.

482

That's the guy.

483

Every day he rolled the rock up the mountain, and every day it rolled back down.

484

That's what it seems like.

485

But you escaped.

486

You stopped rolling that rock.

487

Well, that's what I thought.

488

But every single bag of groceries I fill, there's another one right behind it.

489

So what do we do about it?

490

We sing.

491

What do we sing?

492

When you're too old to work and you're too young to die, who will take care of you?

493

How'll you get by?

494

When you're too old to work,

495

And you're too young to die I don't think I know that one Do you know Lollipop?

496

Lollipop Lollipop Lollipop Lollipop Lollipop Lollipop Lollipop Lollipop Lollipop Lollipop Lollipop Ba bum bum bum

497

I bet those losers dropped out of high school too.

498

So how come you were here tonight?

499

Were you too drunk to ride your bike home too?

500

My father's mad because I dropped out of school.

501

Ha, ironic.

502

Sheldon's upset because I'm not going back to the university.

503

Look at us.

504

A couple of dropouts.

505

Don't you have a PhD?

506

Two.

507

But I was trying to find common ground over which we could bond.

508

All right.

509

You wouldn't believe the day I had.

510

My dad kicked me out, my girlfriend broke up with me, and now I've got to find a second job.

511

I drank hooch on a park bench and sang lollipop.

512

It was tremendous.

513

I think I saw you.

514

Were you with some other guy?

515

Yes.

516

What happened to him?

517

Hey pal, wake up.

518

What's happening?

519

Can't sleep there.

520

Right.

521

Sorry.

522

Excuse me.

523

You didn't happen to see a small, bald man around here, did you?

524

Possibly singing Lollipop?

525

What?

526

I'm going to tell you right now, we can't keep it.

527

It's not a puppy, Mary.

528

It's 500 bucks.

529

It is gambling.

530

Why'd you buy the ticket?

531

I didn't buy it.

532

They gave it to me at the gas station.

533

Okay, well, that sounds like a gift from God.

534

You don't want to make him mad.

535

That is not how God works, George.

536

What if he wanted you to have it to give to the church?

537

Well.

538

Based on that, what if he wanted you to have it so we could buy stuff?

539

George.

540

All I'm saying is we work hard.

541

We're good people.

542

Maybe we deserve this.

543

Guess a dishwasher might be nice.

544

There you go.

545

Get a dishwasher.

546

I don't know.

547

I'll think about it.

548

What's to think about?

549

Have some fun for once.

550

Ooh, we getting some fun with the money?

551

Talking about a dishwasher.

552

When did your dreams die?

553

When we had kids.

554

George.

555

Ooh.

556

Look at the ultra clean, too.

557

Got five washing cycles.

558

I don't know, George.

559

These are really expensive.

560

You won the money.

561

Spend it.

562

Maybe we should just get a more affordable one.

563

Everything we do is affordable.

564

It splurge for once.

565

It's so extravagant.

566

You think we were talking about buying a party boat?

567

It's a dishwasher, for crying out loud.

568

But the way we got the money, it just doesn't feel right.

569

So you're telling me you're never okay with bending the rules once in a while?

570

That's not how being a Christian works.

571

Good to know.

572

What are you doing?

573

Just helping you be a good Christian.

574

I don't know why he cares so much about a dishwasher.

575

Maybe it ain't about the dishwasher.

576

Well, what is it then?

577

Mary, I love you, but sometimes it's kind of like you're waging a war on fun.

578

Why?

579

Because I have values?

580

Well, too bad, because they're not going away.

581

Oh, and fun is down for the count.

582

This is yours.

583

And if you don't feel right spending it, then you should do whatever you want with it.

584

Thank you.

585

You know, I've been thinking that maybe it isn't the end of the world if we spend it on something fun.

586

Really?

587

Really?

588

Yeah, something the family could enjoy.

589

We have been on vacation in a long time.

590

Oh.

591

Oh, we could go to Houston and see the ice capades.

592

Let's keep thinking.

593

Sounds like the ocean.

594

Very relaxing.

595

Kind of makes the rest of the kitchen look trashy.

596

Ooh, it has a temperature boost sensor.

597

What's that?

598

It makes sure the water is heated at the correct temperature for ideal cleaning and drying results.

599

Ooh. Where are you going?

600

You're going to miss the rinse cycle.

601

I'm not missing anything.

602

Ooh, baby.

603

Look up, baby.

604

I can't understand why you wouldn't want to come back to the university.

605

Science is a young man's game.

606

But we could work on something together.

607

If you average out our ages, we're a lean mean 41 and a half.

608

Still too old to be bagging groceries.

609

I know it's unorthodox.

610

But I'm enjoying it.

611

Toriel, this time of year, there's not a cloud in the sky.

612

Information is still coming in, but a black hole has been detected in Waxahachie, Texas.

613

Oh, my Lord.

614

Sources report it was caused by the super collider.

615

The black hole is growing exponentially across Texas, destroying everything in its path.

616

This is an emergency situation.

617

Repeat, this is an emergency situa...

618

John, what did we do?

619

Nothing we can do.

620

He's right.

621

It's going to create a gravitational field that'll consume everything around it.

622

Should we evacuate?

623

We can't.

624

We could never outrun it.

625

Well, how much time do we have?

626

Minutes, at best.

627

That is it's okay, baby.

628

We need to pray right now.

629

You do that.

630

I'm having a beer.

631

Oh Everybody hold hands heavenly father watch.

632

I don't want to spend my last moments on earth praying Yeah, if we only got a few minutes left.

633

I want to spend it talking to y'all You were all the light of my life,

634

and I love you so much That oh I got you not let go Never said enough,

635

but I love y'all Kids, you've made me a very proud father.

636

I'm not ready.

637

There's so many things I want to do.

638

Well, you better pick one right now.

639

Okay, I'm...

640

And I just want to say I'm sorry for him

641

that I was bad and any time I was mean to show him.

642

It's okay.

643

It's just so funny when he's upset.

644

But I'm still sorry about it.

645

I'm sorry, too.

646

Dad, I've been awful, especially to you.

647

I know you haven't.

648

I have.

649

Well, we're good.

650

Okay, we are done talking.

651

I love you all, but it is really time to pray.

652

Our fathers, who are the heavens, will be done names.

653

My kingdom come, and I will be done on Earth.

654

Is that really what would happen if there was a black hole?

655

One of the possibilities.

656

John.

657

Yeah?

658

You doing okay?

659

Well, getting fired was tough.

660

But I'm glad to be back here in town.

661

I'm glad you're back too.

662

But if you feel yourself slipping again, promise me you'll get some help.

663

I promise.

664

Oh good.

665

I worry about you.

666

You do? Of course. That means a lot.

667

Well...

668

This is me.

669

Guess I'll be seeing you next time you go shopping?

670

I'll look forward to it.

671

Connie.

672

Yeah?

673

Tuesdays are double coupons.

674

Good to know.

675

We often regret the things we don't say.

676

There's a lot of things I wish I had said to my dad while he was around. That I appreciated him.

677

That I loved him.

678

Which is why I'm grateful for the times I did tell him how I felt.

679

Tonight was fun.

680

Yeah?

681

Why is that?

682

Dr. Sturgis was here.

683

Everybody talked about science.

684

It was nice.

685

It was.

686

Hey, honey.

687

How was school? So good.

688

Me mom picked me up in her new car.

689

We drove at the top down.

690

A truck driver honked at us.

691

It was awesome.

692

Say, Missy loves my car.

693

I don't know what Dale's problem is.

694

You're too good for him anyway.

695

Should she really be hearing about all this?

696

Mom, she's got dumped.

697

It's what you do.

698

Ooh, is any of this stuff at your house?

699

Let's set it on fire.

700

Don't you have homework?

701

My grandma's hurting.

702

She needs me.

703

Go.

704

I appreciate you picking Missy up from school, but she does not need to hear about your love life.

705

She's got to learn sometime.

706

Learn what?

707

That man suck?

708

You let old men do that.

709

Suck.

710

Say it.

711

No, I won't miss you, Beck.

712

Oh, I know that you're hurting, and I'm here for you.

713

So, what do you need?

714

Great.

715

Take me drinking.

716

It is 3.30 in the afternoon.

717

Yes, it's called happy hour.

718

I have to make dinner.

719

Oh, fine.

720

I'll just be sad and drunk by myself.

721

Well, maybe I'll go home with the bartender.

722

Missy!

723

I have to go out with your Meemaw, but I'll be back later with K.I.C.

724

Oh, for God's sake, take off that stupid Ballard shirt.

725

Oh, look, Connie's here.

726

She's upset about Dale.

727

I ain't upset about Jack's squat.

728

Let's just eat.

729

Without praying.

730

That's silly of me.

731

You all right?

732

Well, she's had a whole beer, so who knows?

733

Mother, can we just pray?

734

Bless us, Lord, for the food we are about to receive, and bless the hands that prepared it.

735

And forgive me for that beer.

736

My mother made me do it.

737

Amen.

738

Snitch.

739

And by the way, you can tell your friend Dale that I want my stuff back.

740

I'm not getting in the middle of this.

741

Because I'll have my purple bra over at his place.

742

I want a purple bra.

743

Oh, Lord.

744

And if I'm going to start dating again, I'm gonna need that.

745

Somebody else needs to talk.

746

Did you know that Leonard Nimoy takes pictures of- Georgie?

747

What?

748

Surprised you're here?

749

Figured you'd be out with your little girlfriend.

750

Well, I'm not.

751

Uh-oh.

752

Did somebody find out how old you are?

753

Ooh, what does that mean?

754

I don't want to talk about it.

755

What it means is your brother over here has been going out with an older woman and lying about his age.

756

Georgie!

757

It don't matter.

758

I told her the truth and she dumped me.

759

I can relate.

760

A young lady brought chaos into my life as well today.

761

What happened?

762

Paige was visiting the university and got mad that I have college friends and she doesn't.

763

You're drunk?

764

She doesn't have friends?

765

It's that crazy-ass dinner.

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Лексика и советы по произношению к этому уроку

Этот урок разговорной практики уровня B1 построен на видео «Clips to Watch While You Eat: Part 2». В этом видео 765 предложений и 4819 слов для шедоуинга. Речь длится 33:46. Говорящий держит ровный темп — около 143 слов в минуту, удобный для шедоуинга. 82% слов входят в 3000 самых частых слов английского языка; остальные стоит разобрать перед занятием. Вопросов здесь 160 из 765 предложений, так что это хорошая тренировка вопросительной интонации и коротких ответов.

Ключевая лексика этого видео

Самые сложные слова из видео (15), с произношением и значением:

Слово	Произношение	Значение
lollipop существительное	/ˈlɑlipɑp/	ледене́ц, ледене́ц на па́лочке
shake глагол	/ˈʃeɪk/	трясти́
candy существительное	/ˈkæn.di/	конфе́та, сласть
dishwasher существительное	/ˈdɪʃˌwɑʃɚ/	посудомо́ечная маши́на, посудомо́йка
shave глагол	/ˈʃeɪ̯v/	брить, побри́ть
gently наречие	/ˈd͡ʒɛntli/	не́жно
salad существительное	/ˈsæl.əd/	сала́т
yarmulke существительное	/ˈjɑ(ɹ)mə(l)kə/	ермо́лка, кипа́
mechanic существительное	/mɪˈkænɪk/	меха́ник
donor существительное	/ˈdəʊnə/	же́ртвователь, до́нор
amen	/(ˌ)ɑːˈmɛn/	ами́нь
scientist существительное	/ˈsaɪəntəst/	учёный, учёная
furniture существительное	/ˈfɝ.nɪ.t͡ʃɚ/	ме́бель, предме́т ме́бели
annoy глагол	/əˈnoɪ̯/	надоеда́ть, надое́сть
butterscotch существительное	/ˈbʌtɚˌskɑt͡ʃ/	ири́с, ири́ска

Фразовые глаголы, которые вы услышите

Слово	Произношение	Значение
look forward to глагол		ждать с нетерпе́нием, не мочь дожда́ться
come around глагол	/kʌ.məˈɹaʊnd/	переду́мать
come up глагол		поднима́ться, подня́ться
figure out глагол		разбира́ться, разобра́ться
find out глагол		узнава́ть, узна́ть
get off глагол		спуска́ться, спусти́ться
go ahead глагол	/ˌɡoʊ əˈhɛd/	дава́й, приступа́йте
go away глагол		уходи́ть, уйти́

Фразы, которые стоит повторять

Короткие законченные фразы из видео, которые пригодятся в повседневном разговоре:

Why don't we do it together?
Can't you just feel the romance?
Why don't you turn it on?
Don't you want to be a part of that?
Why'd you buy the ticket?

Грамматика в этом видео

Конструкции, которые говорящий использует чаще всего, с точными словами из видео:

Конструкция	В видео
Present Perfect Continuous have/has been + -ing — действие началось раньше и продолжается	I've been working · I've been thinking · has been going
Условные предложения if + предложение, will/would + глагол — условие и его результат	If you hollered, we wouldn't hear
Present Perfect have/has + причастие прошедшего времени — прошлое действие, важное сейчас	have pushed · have begun · hasn't always worked
Пассивный залог be + причастие прошедшего времени — важно, что происходит, а не кто это делает	was brought · is heated · has been detected

Произношение, на которое стоит обратить внимание

Говорящий использует 212 сокращённых и редуцированных форм, например I'm, don't, you're. Произносите их коротко, так, как слышите.

Звуки «sh» и «zh»: shake /ˈʃeɪk/, dishwasher /ˈdɪʃˌwɑʃɚ/, shave /ˈʃeɪ̯v/, accomplishment /əˈkɑm.plɪʃ.mənt/, gosh /ɡɑːʃ/
Длинные слова — следите за ударением: colonoscopy /kɑ.ləˈnɑ.skə.pi/, customary /ˈkʌs.təˌmɛɹ.i/, affordable /əˈfɔɹ.də.bəl/, accomplishment /əˈkɑm.plɪʃ.mənt/, ingredient /ɪnˈɡɹiːdi.ənt/

Звуки, трудные для русскоязычных:

/w/ — губы округлены, это не /v/: dishwasher /ˈdɪʃˌwɑʃɚ/, quiz /kwɪz/, quarterback /ˈkwɔːtəbak/, quantum /ˈkwɑntəm/, homework /ˈhoʊmˌwɝk/
/h/ — лёгкий выдох, а не русское «х»: heavenly /ˈhɛvənli/, hospitality /ˌhɑ.spɪˈtæl.ə.ti/, heal /ˈhiːl/, homework /ˈhoʊmˌwɝk/
Звонкие согласные в конце слова — не оглушайте их: shave /ˈʃeɪ̯v/, salad /ˈsæl.əd/, groceries /ˈɡɹoʊ.s(ə.)ɹiz/, quiz /kwɪz/, bald /bɔːld/

Как заниматься с этим видео

Прослушайте всё видео один раз молча и выпишите незнакомые слова.
Повторяйте предложение за предложением на обычной скорости, пока ваш ритм не совпадёт с ритмом говорящего.
Запишите себя и сравните с оригиналом, обращая внимание на такие слова, как lollipop, shake, candy.

Что такое техника Shadowing?

Shadowing — это научно обоснованная техника изучения языка, изначально разработанная для подготовки профессиональных переводчиков и популяризированная полиглотом доктором Александром Аргуэльесом. Метод прост, но эффективен: вы слушаете аудио на английском от носителей языка и немедленно повторяете вслух — как тень, следующая за говорящим с задержкой в 1–2 секунды. В отличие от пассивного прослушивания или грамматических упражнений, Shadowing заставляет мозг и мышцы рта одновременно обрабатывать и воспроизводить реальные речевые паттерны. Исследования показывают, что это значительно улучшает точность произношения, интонацию, ритм, связную речь, понимание на слух и беглость речи — что делает его одним из самых эффективных методов для подготовки к IELTS Speaking и реального общения на английском.

Техника шедоуинга: читать полное пошаговое руководство →

Практика Shadowing: Clips to Watch While You Eat: Part 2 | Young Sheldon Compilation - Изучайте разговорный английский по видео

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Лексика и советы по произношению к этому уроку

Ключевая лексика этого видео

Фразовые глаголы, которые вы услышите

Фразы, которые стоит повторять

Грамматика в этом видео

Произношение, на которое стоит обратить внимание

Как заниматься с этим видео

Что такое техника Shadowing?