跟讀練習: How to Stop Feeling Nostalgic for an Ex - 通過影片學習英語口語

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After considerable agony, we've left a relationship.

We're on our own now, and when we can bear to be honest, it is a little bit harder than we expected.

We aren't going on so many dates.

The central heating broke down last week.

The shopping is proving a hurdle.

In idle moments, we find ourselves daydreaming, returning fondly to certain occasions in the recently concluded relationship.

There was that wintry weekend by the sea.

They looked adorable walking on the beach in their thick scarf.

We fed seagulls and drank cheap wine from paper cups on the sea front and felt connected and happy.

We're newly conscious of the charm of so many things that seemed ordinary at the time.

Coming out of the supermarket, putting everything away in the fridge and cupboards, making soup and toasted cheese and watching TV on the sofa.

With these thoughts in mind, we feel weepy and tender and at points distinctly tempted to call the ex up again.

They would, we suspect, allow us back or at least give us a hearing.

What can we make of our feelings?

It might be that we have realised a genuine mistake.

But it is even more likely

that we are in the grip of a characteristic mental habit of the newly single facing the vertigo of independence.

Nostalgia.

In the middle of the 19th century, Britain underwent industrial and scientific revolutions that transformed old, settled ways of life, ripping apart communities,

throwing people together in large and anonymous cities and dislocating the loyalties and certainties once offered by religion.

In a search for ways to soften the confusion, artists and thinkers began to imagine what a better world might look like,

and in certain circles, the search turned towards the past, and more specifically, towards the perceived wisdom,

coherence and contentment of the Middle Ages.

While railway lines were being laid down across the land and telegraph cables under the seas, members of the artistic class celebrated the simple,

innocent communities that they proposed had existed in the 12th and 13th centuries.

Artworks depicted handsome, uneducated but happy labourers,

cheerful villagers celebrating harvests and kindly lords and ladies ministering to the deserving poor.

There seemed to be no violence, alienation, fear or cruelty.

No one minded not having much heating or subsisting on a meagre diet of oats and the odd piece of lard.

It had, it was alleged, been very much easier back then in the thatched cottages and pious stone churches.

At the heart of the nostalgic attitude is a disregard for why things ever changed and might have needed to do so.

For the nostalgic, the past never required alteration or development history moved on but for no sane reason.

The complexities of the present moment are in this sense deemed wholly accidental.

They are not the tricky by-products of a legitimate search for growth and progress, away from what must have been at some level, despite the odd delightful occasion,

perhaps at harvest time or on a midsummer morning, an intolerable previous arrangement.

The nostalgic can't accept that the present, whatever its faults, came about because of inescapable difficulties with the past.

They insist that we had already once been perfectly happy, then mysteriously changed everything for the worse because we forgot we had been so.

Relationships can find us reasoning no less selectively.

Here too, it can feel as if we must once have been content and then grew ungrateful through error and inattention.

Yet, in locating profound satisfaction in the past, we are crediting our earlier selves with too little acumen.

The truth about what a relationship is like

is best ascertained not when we are feeling low six months or a few years after its conclusion,

but from what we must have known when we were in its midst,

when we were most familiar with all the facts upon which we made our slow and deliberate decision to leave.

The specific grounds for our dissatisfactions tend to evaporate.

We edit out the rows, the botched trips, the sexual frustrations, the stubborn standoffs.

The mind is a squeamish organ.

It doesn't like to entertain bad news unless there is a highly present danger to be attended to.

But knowing our amnesiac tendencies, we can be certain that profound unpleasantness must have existed,

for there would otherwise have been no explanation for our decision to rip our relationship apart.

We would never have needed to act

if things had ever remotely been as gratifying as we are now nostalgically assuming they were.

The portrait we are painting of our relationship is emerging not from knowledge but from loneliness and apprehension.

Furthermore, our sense of ourselves as people who could be satisfied

with what was on offer is as untrue to our own

nature as is the fantasy of a modern urban dweller who dreams they might find enduring happiness in a medieval-style wooden hut.

The solution to the problem of satisfying our needs is not to hallucinate that they don't exist.

It is to square up to them and use every ingenuity we are capable of to devise workable solutions for them.

We should trust not what we feel now, in our weepy, disconsolate state, but what we must have known then.

A simple rule of thumb emerges.

We must invariably trust the decisions we took when we had the maximal information to hand upon which we made them,

not when we have emotional incentives to change our minds and mould ourselves into a caricature of an easily gratified creature.

There were persuasive reasons, even if, in our sadness, we now can't remember a single one.

Returning to the past wouldn't make us content.

It would merely, at great cost to all involved, remind us of why change was, in the end, so necessary.

We need to accept that good things did exist, but that they were no proper solution to certain of our well-founded needs.

It means accepting that we are as complicated

and as difficult to satisfy as we are and

that the way forward is to accept our characters rather than assume a simplicity we could never live up to.

We should have the courage of, and be ready to pay the full price for, our true complex natures.

Love is a skill that we can learn.

Our Relationships book calmly guides us with calm and charm

through the key issues of relationships to ensure that success in love need not be a matter of good luck.

For more, click the link now.

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本課的詞彙與口語要點

這段影片共有 74 個句子、1099 個單詞可供跟讀。講話部分時長為 7:21。說話人語速平穩，每分鐘約 149 個詞，很適合跟讀。只有 79% 的單詞屬於英語最常用的 3,000 詞，詞彙難度較高。

影片中的重點詞彙

影片中 15 個值得學習的單詞，附發音和釋義：

單詞	發音	釋義
satisfy 動詞	/ˈsætɪsfaɪ/	滿足 /滿足
occasion 名詞	/əˈkeɪ̯ʒən/	場合 /場合, 機會 /機會
charm 名詞	/t͡ʃɑɹm/	護身符 /護身符
harvest 名詞	/ˈhɑɹ.vəst/	收穫 /收穫
emerge 動詞	/ɪˈmɝd͡ʒ/	出現 /出現
complicated 形容詞	/ˈkɑm.plɪˌkeɪ.tɪd/	複雜 /複雜
railway 名詞	/ˈɹeɪlˌweɪ/	鐵路 /鐵路, 鐵道 /鐵道
thick 形容詞	/θɪk/	ху, 厚
innocent 形容詞	/ˈɪnəsənt/	無猜 /無猜
explanation 名詞	/ˌɛkspləˈneɪʃən/	解釋 /解釋, 說明 /說明
happiness 名詞	/ˈhæpinɪs/	幸福, 快樂 /快樂
ordinary 形容詞	/ˈɔɹdɪnɛɹi/	普通, 平常
skill 名詞	/skɪl/	技巧, 技能
conclusion 名詞	/kənˈkluːʒən/	結束 /結束
connect 動詞	/kəˈnɛkt/	連線 /連線

影片中出現的短語動詞

單詞	釋義
break down 動詞	壞了 /壞了, 出故障

需要注意的發音

說話人用了 9 次縮略和弱讀形式，例如 can't, we're, aren't。請按聽到的簡短形式來說。

“th” 音: thick /θɪk/, furthermore /ˈfɜː(ɹ).ðə(ɹ)ˌmɔː(ɹ)/, thumb /ˈθʌm/, thatch /θæt͡ʃ/, thinker /ˈθɪŋ.kɚ/
“sh” 和 “zh” 音: occasion /əˈkeɪ̯ʒən/, explanation /ˌɛkspləˈneɪʃən/, conclusion /kənˈkluːʒən/, confusion /kənˈfjuːʒən/, conscious /ˈkɑn.ʃəs/
長單詞——注意重音位置: complicated /ˈkɑm.plɪˌkeɪ.tɪd/, explanation /ˌɛkspləˈneɪʃən/, ordinary /ˈɔɹdɪnɛɹi/, difficulty /ˈdɪfɪkəlti/, considerable /kənˈsɪdəɹəbl̩/

如何用這段影片練習

先完整聽一遍影片，不要開口，記下不認識的單詞。
用正常速度逐句跟讀，每句重複到你的節奏與說話人一致為止。
錄下自己的聲音並與原聲對比，特別注意 satisfy, occasion, charm 這類單詞。

影片中的語法

說話人最常用的結構，並附上影片中的原話：

結構	影片中的用法
現在完成時 have/has + 過去分詞 — 過去發生但與現在仍有關聯的事	we've left · have realised · have been
被動語態 be + 過去分詞 — 強調發生了什麼，而不是誰做的	being laid · was alleged · be attended

什麼是跟讀法？

跟讀法 (Shadowing) 是一種有科學依據的語言學習技巧，最初開發用於專業口譯員的培訓，並由多語言者Alexander Arguelles博士普及。這個方法簡單而強大：您在聽英語母語原聲的同時立即大聲重複——就像是一個延遲1-2秒緊跟說話者的影子。與被動聽力或語法練習不同，跟讀法強迫您的大腦和口腔肌肉同時處理並模模擬實的講話模式。研究表明它能顯著提高發音準確性，語調，節奏，連讀，聽力理解和口語流利度——使其成為雅思口語備考和真實英語交流最有效的方法之一。

影子跟讀法: 閱讀完整分步指南 →

跟讀練習: How to Stop Feeling Nostalgic for an Ex - 通過影片學習英語口語

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