Shadowing Practice: How to Set Boundaries at Home and at Work Without the Guilt - Learn English Speaking with Video

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This morning in our series Life Lessons, we are talking about the importance of setting boundaries, whether it's at work or at home with loved ones.

Speaking up for our needs can help create healthier relationships.

Psychotherapist and author Nero Feliciano is going to walk us through it.

We're lucky she's here.

Good morning.

Great to see you.

Okay, here's the thing though.

This is hard, right?

To set boundaries, to say things that you need.

You can feel guilty about it, especially I think probably when it's home and loved ones.

How can we get over that and do something

that is healthy for us first of all you know i love me a boundary is my favorite b word

so but it is so hard for people

because they often perceive boundaries as unkind and inflexible

but it's actually quite the opposite boundaries are a love language for ourselves

and for everyone else because when we can protect our limits mentally

and physically we show up better for people we feel more connected

and here's the tip anyone who has issues with your boundaries they're the people who benefited from you not having them

you know in fact how do you set them

and i know personal boundaries are important

but to your point those work boundaries you know those people

who who benefit whether it's the boss who's sending you emails

late late in the evening we're going to talk about

that yeah so so how do we set healthy boundaries

so here's some guidelines first we have to identify where do we need boundaries so any area of our life, relationship or situational, where we feel exhausted,

depleted, resentful, that's a bigger one.

There's likely a boundary that needed to be set that wasn't.

We want to use I statements, not you, you, you that puts people on the defensive, but we're not controlling other people's behavior.

We're defining our limits.

And clear and direct, no convoluted explanations.

No one wants to hear about your grandmother's cat

that had eye surgery

so you couldn't show up to the bar mitzvah we overshare yeah we overshare clear

and kind so tone is also important like this dylan i would love to come

but i i have a commitment

that night thank you for thinking of me you know you felt loved

but right i'm a problem yeah

but that's fine i define my limit i'm not coming

so let's go through some other prompts here let's start off with family

and friends how can we tell the people we love we

need some space big one especially for people who are a

little overbearing i need to take some time for myself right now

and find a better balance in my life okay what

if someone is asking too many personal questions

and we want to set a limit around a certain topic we all know people like

that so two ways one we can deflect it no one wants to hear about me right now

but tell me where did you get that fabulous dress

or for some people we have to be more explicit i am not talking about my relationship status this tonight.

So if someone brings it up, I'm going to change the topic, or I might have to leave.

It seems so simple.

But how do you get to that?

Yeah.

How do you get to that?

So that you can define it simply.

One, you have to know your limits.

Again, what triggers you?

What makes you feel stressed?

Where are your limits?

What are you okay with?

What can you give in that moment?

What about for that person who just offers too much advice?

You just don't need it or want it.

Every well -meaning auntie in every family.

Yes, we can say, I appreciate your concern, but I've thought about this and I've figured it out.

But what would help me is if you listened and supported my decision.

So we're saying what we don't want, but also what we need to feel closer to each other.

All right.

What about in the workplace?

Let's say you just feel like you have way too much on your plate.

How do you communicate that? just

so many people these days we can say given all of our deadlines right now this is

when i can get you that information on monday oh

and you're just like out of the gate setting expectations yes you are what about

when somebody in these stressful work situations is rude to you

oh this we get a lot right we can say i really want to have this conversation with you

but when you are calm and can talk to me respectfully

and funny thing i was saying this out loud my husband was like oh I've heard

that a lot because I use boundaries it protects our relationships

and that's it ensures the longevity of a relationship

so what do you do

when you're on the receiving end of somebody who's taken your

advice about boundaries how do you how do you receive that

and respond and if you feel like oh why are they not meeting my needs in

that moment yes I want you to think about putting yourself in their shoes

and practicing some empathy what are they going through right now where they're saying they can't do something

or what they need from me we have to think about protecting their limits too

and think about them doing that for themselves

and also extend to them the grace you want for yourself sure

when you need to set a limit with someone else

because sometimes we feel like we're being rejected that's right we do yeah

and that's why the tone is important when i said that to you I'm still coming across as kind and loving, but just explaining where my limit is.

I want to put you in my pocket.

No, I know.

Pocket in a row.

I'll take you along for all my social situations.

I'll just come along.

Little in a row, bring her out.

What should I say?

100

Texts that need a response.

101

I'm overwhelmed.

102

I don't know what to do.

103

That would be great.

104

You are the best.

105

Obviously, we love you.

106

Thank you so much.

107

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אוצר מילים והערות הגייה לשיעור הזה

שיעור הדיבור הזה ברמה B2 מבוסס על הסרטון “How to Set Boundaries at Home and at Work Without the Guilt”. המילים שחוזרות הכי הרבה: boundaries, limit, relationship. בסרטון הזה יש 107 משפטים ו-1078 מילים לתרגול Shadowing. הדיבור נמשך 5:29. הדובר מדבר מהר, כ-196 מילים בדקה, אז צפו לצלילים מחוברים ומקוצרים. 87% מהמילים נמצאות בין 3,000 המילים הנפוצות ביותר באנגלית, כך שקל לעקוב אחרי אוצר המילים.

אוצר מילים מרכזי בסרטון הזה

8 המילים המתקדמות ביותר בסרטון, עם ההגייה והמשמעות שלהן:

מילה	הגייה	משמעות
boundary שם עצם	/ˈbaʊndɹi/	גְּבוּל
overbearing שם תואר		דומיננטי, שתלטן
psychotherapist שם עצם		פסיכותרפיסט
situational שם תואר	/sɪtjuːˈeɪʃənəl/	מצבי, נסיבתי
empathy שם עצם	/ˈɛmpəθi/	אֶמְפַּתְיָה
explicit שם תואר	/ɪkˈsplɪs.ɪt/	בּוֹטֶה
workplace שם עצם	/ˈwɝkˌpleɪs/	מקום עבודה
podcast שם עצם	/ˈpɑdˌkæst/	פּוֹדְקַאסְט, הֶסְכֵּת

משפטים שכדאי לחזור עליהם

משפטים קצרים ושלמים מהסרטון שאפשר להשתמש בהם בשיחה יומיומית:

How do you get to that?
What makes you feel stressed?
What are you okay with?
What can you give in that moment?
How do you communicate that?

דקדוק בסרטון הזה

המבנים שהדובר משתמש בהם הכי הרבה, עם המילים המדויקות מהסרטון:

מבנה	בסרטון
משפטי זיקה (Relative clauses) who / which + clause — מידע נוסף על אדם או דבר	anyone who has · people who are · person who just
הווה מושלם (Present perfect) have/has + past participle — פעולה שקרתה בעבר ועדיין יש לה חשיבות או השפעה עכשיו	I've thought · I've heard
סביל (Passive voice) be + past participle — הדגש הוא על מה שקורה, לא על מי שעושה את הפעולה	be set · being rejected

הגייה ששווה לשים לב אליה

הדובר משתמש ב-26 קיצורים וצורות מקוצרות, כמו we're, I'm, don't. אמרו אותם בצורה הקצרה, כפי שאתם שומעים אותם.

הצלילים של “sh” ו-“zh”: situational /sɪtjuːˈeɪʃənəl/, expectation /ˌɛk.spɛkˈteɪ.ʃən/
מילים ארוכות — שימו לב להטעמה: convoluted /ˌkɑnvəˈlutəd/, respectfully /ɹɪˈspɛkt.fə.li/, situational /sɪtjuːˈeɪʃənəl/, longevity /lɒnˈd͡ʒɛv.ɪ.ti/, expectation /ˌɛk.spɛkˈteɪ.ʃən/

צלילים שדוברי עברית מתקשים בהם:

/w/ — שפתיים מעוגלות, לא /v/: overwhelm /ˌoʊ.vɚˈwɛlm/, workplace /ˈwɝkˌpleɪs/
/æ/ — פתוח יותר מה-“אֶ” העברית, לא כמו “a” ב-“cup”: auntie /ˈæn.ti/, fabulous /ˈfæbjʊləs/, podcast /ˈpɑdˌkæst/
/r/ — הלשון לא נוגעת בשום מקום, לא ה-“ר” הגרונית: boundary /ˈbaʊndɹi/, resentful /ɹɪˈzɛntfəl/, respectfully /ɹɪˈspɛkt.fə.li/, prompt /pɹɑmpt/, stressful /ˈstɹɛsfəl/

איך לתרגל עם הסרטון הזה

הקשיבו לכל הסרטון פעם אחת בלי לדבר, ורשמו את המילים שאתם לא מכירים.
התחילו במהירות 0.75×, תרגלו Shadowing משפט אחר משפט, וחזרו למהירות רגילה כשזה מרגיש קל.
הקליטו את עצמכם והשוו למקור, תוך תשומת לב למילים כמו boundary, overbearing, psychotherapist.

מהי טכניקת השאדואינג?

שאדואינג היא טכניקת למידת שפה מבוססת מדע שפותחה במקור להכשרת מתורגמנים מקצועיים ופופולרית על ידי הפוליגלוט ד"ר אלכסנדר ארגואלס. השיטה פשוטה אך עוצמתית: אתה מקשיב לאודיו באנגלית ילידית וחוזר עליו בקול רם מיד — כמו צל העוקב אחרי הדובר עם עיכוב של 1–2 שניות בלבד. בניגוד להאזנה פסיבית או תרגילי דקדוק, שאדואינג מכריח את המוח והשרירים בפה לעבד ולשחזר דפוסי דיבור אמיתיים בו זמנית. מחקרים מראים שזה משפר משמעותית את דיוק ההגייה, האינטונציה, הקצב, הדיבור המחובר, הבנת השמיעה ושטף הדיבור — מה שהופך אותו לאחת השיטות היעילות ביותר להכנה לIELTS Speaking ולתקשורת באנגלית בעולם האמיתי.

טכניקת Shadowing: קרא את המדריך המלא שלב אחר שלב →

Shadowing Practice: How to Set Boundaries at Home and at Work Without the Guilt - Learn English Speaking with Video

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אוצר מילים והערות הגייה לשיעור הזה

אוצר מילים מרכזי בסרטון הזה

משפטים שכדאי לחזור עליהם

דקדוק בסרטון הזה

הגייה ששווה לשים לב אליה

איך לתרגל עם הסרטון הזה

מהי טכניקת השאדואינג?