Shadowing Practice: Why We Go Cold On Our Partners - Learn English Speaking with Video
Elige un modo de práctica
Cada modo abre una sala de práctica a pantalla completa.
63 oraciones
Si las oraciones son demasiado cortas o largas, haz clic en Editar para ajustarlas.
1
The story of the path to coldness in love is well known.
2
We start off full of affection for one another and then, with time, feelings fade.
3
We start prioritising work.
4
We check our phones while they're speaking.
5
We don't especially want to hear how their day went.
6
There's a popular surface explanation for this kind of emotional frost.
7
That people naturally get bored of one another in the same
8
way as they get bored with everything else – the gadget that once seemed so amazing, the film they used to love.
9
Going cold is, in this story, simply the unavoidable consequence of familiarity.
10
But there's another explanation, darker at first, but in the end more hopeful.
11
The loss of interest isn't either natural or inevitable.
12
The boredom is something at once more complicated and more active.
13
It exists because we feel hurt by,
14
angry with or scared of our partner and because we haven't found a cathartic way to tell ourselves or them about it.
15
Tuning out isn't inevitable, it's a symptom of disavowed emotional distress.
16
It's a way of coping.
17
We're internally numbed, not just a touch board.
18
This can sound strange.
19
After all, we might have no active sense that our partner has been hurting, angering or frightening us.
20
The idea appears laughable or extreme.
21
It makes our partner sound like monsters or ourselves like weaklings, neither of which is true.
22
But the self that loves within a relationship is not the normal adult self we know from other zones of our lives.
23
We may mostly be hugely resourceful and resilient, but the person who loves is an infinitely more vulnerable being.
24
We should imagine it like a smaller, younger, more defenseless version of ourselves that lives in our heads
25
and is no tougher and not much wiser than we were as babies,
26
which is when so many of our needs for and ideas about love were formed.
27
It's this vulnerable self that continues to direct our hearts, even if we're six foot two with a pointy beard.
28
The loving self has a gossamer -thin ego.
29
It gets hurt, frightened and upset with desperate ease.
30
You could deeply distress it by interrupting it during a story it's telling you about the sandwich it had for lunch,
31
by not asking it enough about the little spot it got on its arm yesterday, by preferring a book to cuddling,
32
or being a bit tricky about what channel it should watch on TV.
33
Of course, these are, by ordinary adult standards, tiny slights.
34
But we don't love by adult standards.
35
These small arrows are enough to wound the self that loves to its tender emotional core.
36
Ideally, of course, the small self would at once point out what's happened.
37
It would carefully explain that it had been frustrated and hurt.
38
Its voice would be measured, undefensive, and charming.
39
But mostly, it just stays silent.
40
That's forgivable.
41
It doesn't properly understand what's wrong.
42
It just knows it's in pain and is driven by an instinct to withdraw and protect itself, which translates into behavior that looks pretty cold.
43
If the adult self had to give voice to the loving self's upset, it could sound and feel absurd, which is partly why it doesn't.
44
There can be something especially humiliating in having to say, I don't feel you took enough interest in the details of my lunch break,
45
or I'm 45 years old but not capable of sharing a TV remote control.
46
These truly are small issues for an adult to dwell on,
47
but the parts of us that make themselves vulnerable in love don't obey the ordinary adult rules.
48
The consequence is that the loving self dries up.
49
It doesn't want to have sex.
50
It gets sarcastic and irritable.
51
But it doesn't even know why it's like this.
52
It isn't putting on an act.
53
It's confused.
54
To learn to cope, we need a prominent mutual awareness
55
and forgiveness of this dynamic of sensitivity and distress and a commitment to decode it when disengagement and indifference descend.
56
We have to create a forum in which so -called minor love -sapping hurts can safely be aired,
57
without the other dismissing, as they always so easily can, the issues at stake as childish or imagined.
58
The touchiness of the loving self is ridiculous, if judged by the more robust standards of the rest of life.
59
But this is not the rest of life.
60
When we've gone cold, we may not truly have lost interest in our partners we might just need an opportunity to imagine
61
that we are quietly really rather hurt and furious with them.
62
And we should have access to a safe forum in which our tender but critical feelings can be aired, purged and understood without risk of humiliation.
63
Thank you.
Descargar app
Todo lo que necesitas para hablar con fluidez
Pronunciación con IAEvalúa cada oración
Práctica de IPADomina cada sonido
VocabularioConstruye tu banco de palabras
Juego de vocabularioAprende mientras juegas
Mismo canal
C158
Why Unloved People Hate Themselves #shorts #selfcare
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
C11
Why Love NEVER Lasts FOREVER
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C131
The Secret to a Calm Life
British AccentDaily ConversationWorking Adults
C144
Why Socrates Hated Democracy
British AccentIELTS PrepTOEFL PrepUniversity Students
C12
PLATO ON: The Allegory of the Cave
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
PHILOSOPHY - Schopenhauer
C17
Why Parents Bully Their Children
Daily ConversationUniversity Students
C17
Your Two Options in Love After a Bad Childhood
British AccentDaily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B210
LITERATURE - Charles Darwin
British AccentIELTS PrepTOEFL PrepUniversity Students
C11
How to Get Over Someone
British AccentUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C1621
The Point of Travel
British AccentTravel EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C14
POLITICAL THEORY - Karl Marx
British AccentIELTS PrepTOEFL PrepUniversity Students
C116
When Love Isn't Easy
British AccentDaily ConversationWorking Adults
C13
How To Get Over Rejection
British AccentBusiness EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
C18
How to Parent Yourself
British AccentBusiness EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C11
PHILOSOPHY - The Stoics
British AccentBusiness EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C18
Why We Should Refuse to Get Into Arguments
British AccentBusiness EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
C13
PHILOSOPHY - Plato
British AccentDaily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C1112
What is Emotional Intelligence?
British AccentBusiness EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C17
How To Know Yourself
British AccentBusiness EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
FOR YOU
Recomendar Video
C13
214 oraciones
Fawning: The Survival Strategy That Turns Into Self-Abandonment | Fawning #2
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C12
86 oraciones
Why Do We Stay in Relationships That Hurt Us?
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C11
229 oraciones
The love You Attract Reveals Who You Are | Carl Jung
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C11
150 oraciones
Why We Can't Save Those We Love
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C12
56 oraciones
love without attachment
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C12
203 oraciones
How To Rewire Your Brain | Andrew Huberman Motivation
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B25
91 oraciones
6 Telltale Signs You're Feeling Numb
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C113
65 oraciones
How Your Childhood Influence The Way You Express Love (love styles)
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B22
237 oraciones
Sexuality Professor Answers Dating Questions | Tech Support | WIRED
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C14
117 oraciones
this is enough.
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
Vocabulario y notas de pronunciación para esta lección
Esta lección de conversación se basa en el vídeo “Why We Go Cold On Our Partners”. Las palabras que más se repiten: self, adult, hurt, loving, partner. Este vídeo tiene 28 frases y 792 palabras para practicar shadowing. La parte hablada dura 4:56. El hablante habla a un ritmo natural de unas 161 palabras por minuto, cercano a una conversación cotidiana. Solo el 80 % de las palabras está entre las 3.000 más comunes del inglés, por lo que el vocabulario es exigente.
Vocabulario clave de este vídeo
15 palabras del vídeo que vale la pena aprender, con su pronunciación y significado:
| Palabra | Pronunciación | Significado |
|---|---|---|
| vulnerable adjetivo | /ˈvʌln(ə)ɹəbl̩/ | vulnerable |
| distress sustantivo | /dɪˈstɹɛs/ | distrés, distress |
| bore verbo | /boɹ/ | aburrir |
| explanation sustantivo | /ˌɛkspləˈneɪʃən/ | explicación |
| ordinary adjetivo | /ˈɔɹdɪnɛɹi/ | ordinario |
| forum sustantivo | /ˈfɔːɹəm/ | foro, fórum |
| tender adjetivo | /ˈtɛn.dɚ/ | tierno, dolorido |
| inevitable adjetivo | /ɪˈnɛvɪtəbəl/ | inevitable |
| consequence sustantivo | /ˈkɑn.sɪ.kwəns/ | consecuencia |
| naturally adverbio | /ˈnæt͡ʃ.(ə.)ɹə.li/ | naturalmente, a natura |
| complicated adjetivo | /ˈkɑm.plɪˌkeɪ.tɪd/ | complicado |
| confused adjetivo | /kənˈfjuːzd/ | confundido |
| carefully adverbio | /ˈkɛɹf(ə)li/ | cuidadosamente |
| ridiculous adjetivo | /ɹɪˈdɪk.jə.ləs/ | ridículo |
| silent adjetivo | /ˈsaɪ̯lənt/ | silencioso, callar |
Phrasal verbs que vas a escuchar
| Palabra | Significado |
|---|---|
| point out verbo | señalar, apuntar |
Gramática en este vídeo
Las estructuras que más usa el hablante, con las palabras exactas del vídeo:
| Estructura | En el vídeo |
|---|---|
| Voz pasiva be + participio pasado — importa lo que ocurre, no quién lo hace | were formed · had been frustrated · would be measured |
| Present perfect have/has + participio pasado — una acción pasada que sigue importando ahora | haven't found · we've gone |
| Oraciones de relativo who / which + oración — información extra sobre una persona o cosa | person who loves · absurd, which is |
Pronunciación a tener en cuenta
El hablante usa 18 contracciones y formas reducidas, como doesn't, don't, isn't. Dilas en su forma corta, tal como las oyes.
- Los sonidos de “th”: thin /ˈθɪn/, withdraw /wɪðˈdɹɔ/
- Los sonidos de “sh” y “zh”: explanation /ˌɛkspləˈneɪʃən/, affection /əˈfɛk.ʃən/, childish /ˈt͡ʃaɪldɪʃ/, humiliation /hjuːˌmɪliˈeɪʃən/
- Palabras largas — cuida el acento: explanation /ˌɛkspləˈneɪʃən/, ordinary /ˈɔɹdɪnɛɹi/, inevitable /ɪˈnɛvɪtəbəl/, naturally /ˈnæt͡ʃ.(ə.)ɹə.li/, complicated /ˈkɑm.plɪˌkeɪ.tɪd/
Sonidos difíciles para hispanohablantes:
- s + consonante al inicio — sin añadir una “e” delante: slight /slaɪt/, stake /steɪk/, scare /skɛɚ/
- /v/ — no es /b/: los dientes tocan el labio inferior: vulnerable /ˈvʌln(ə)ɹəbl̩/, inevitable /ɪˈnɛvɪtəbəl/, sensitivity /ˌsɛn.səˈtɪv.ə.ti/, forgiveness /fɚˈɡɪvnəs/, disavow /dɪsəˈvaʊ/
- /z/ — sonora, no /s/: confused /kənˈfjuːzd/, ease /iz/, translate /tɹænzˈleɪt/, prioritize /pɹaɪˈɒɹ.ə.taɪz/, resilient /ɹɪˈzɪl.jənt/
Cómo practicar con este vídeo
- Escucha el vídeo entero una vez sin hablar y anota las palabras que no conoces.
- Empieza a velocidad 0,75×, haz shadowing frase por frase y vuelve a la velocidad normal cuando te resulte fácil.
- Grábate y compara con el original, prestando atención a palabras como vulnerable, distress, bore.
¿Qué es la Técnica de Shadowing?
Shadowing es una técnica de aprendizaje de idiomas respaldada por la ciencia, desarrollada originalmente para la formación de intérpretes profesionales y popularizada por el políglota Dr. Alexander Arguelles. El método es simple pero poderoso: escuchas audio en inglés nativo y lo repites en voz alta de inmediato, como una sombra que sigue al hablante con solo 1-2 segundos de retraso. A diferencia de la escucha pasiva o los ejercicios de gramática, el shadowing obliga a tu cerebro y músculos de la boca a procesar y reproducir simultáneamente patrones de habla reales. Las investigaciones muestran que mejora significativamente la precisión de la pronunciación, la entonación, el ritmo, el habla conectada, la comprensión auditiva y la fluidez al hablar, convirtiéndola en una de las metodologías más efectivas para la preparación del IELTS Speaking y la comunicación en inglés en el mundo real.