Практика Shadowing: Why We Go Cold On Our Partners - Изучайте разговорный английский по видео
Выберите режим практики
Каждый режим открывает полноэкранную комнату практики.
63 предложений
Если предложения слишком короткие или длинные, нажмите Edit, чтобы их изменить.
1
The story of the path to coldness in love is well known.
2
We start off full of affection for one another and then, with time, feelings fade.
3
We start prioritising work.
4
We check our phones while they're speaking.
5
We don't especially want to hear how their day went.
6
There's a popular surface explanation for this kind of emotional frost.
7
That people naturally get bored of one another in the same
8
way as they get bored with everything else – the gadget that once seemed so amazing, the film they used to love.
9
Going cold is, in this story, simply the unavoidable consequence of familiarity.
10
But there's another explanation, darker at first, but in the end more hopeful.
11
The loss of interest isn't either natural or inevitable.
12
The boredom is something at once more complicated and more active.
13
It exists because we feel hurt by,
14
angry with or scared of our partner and because we haven't found a cathartic way to tell ourselves or them about it.
15
Tuning out isn't inevitable, it's a symptom of disavowed emotional distress.
16
It's a way of coping.
17
We're internally numbed, not just a touch board.
18
This can sound strange.
19
After all, we might have no active sense that our partner has been hurting, angering or frightening us.
20
The idea appears laughable or extreme.
21
It makes our partner sound like monsters or ourselves like weaklings, neither of which is true.
22
But the self that loves within a relationship is not the normal adult self we know from other zones of our lives.
23
We may mostly be hugely resourceful and resilient, but the person who loves is an infinitely more vulnerable being.
24
We should imagine it like a smaller, younger, more defenseless version of ourselves that lives in our heads
25
and is no tougher and not much wiser than we were as babies,
26
which is when so many of our needs for and ideas about love were formed.
27
It's this vulnerable self that continues to direct our hearts, even if we're six foot two with a pointy beard.
28
The loving self has a gossamer -thin ego.
29
It gets hurt, frightened and upset with desperate ease.
30
You could deeply distress it by interrupting it during a story it's telling you about the sandwich it had for lunch,
31
by not asking it enough about the little spot it got on its arm yesterday, by preferring a book to cuddling,
32
or being a bit tricky about what channel it should watch on TV.
33
Of course, these are, by ordinary adult standards, tiny slights.
34
But we don't love by adult standards.
35
These small arrows are enough to wound the self that loves to its tender emotional core.
36
Ideally, of course, the small self would at once point out what's happened.
37
It would carefully explain that it had been frustrated and hurt.
38
Its voice would be measured, undefensive, and charming.
39
But mostly, it just stays silent.
40
That's forgivable.
41
It doesn't properly understand what's wrong.
42
It just knows it's in pain and is driven by an instinct to withdraw and protect itself, which translates into behavior that looks pretty cold.
43
If the adult self had to give voice to the loving self's upset, it could sound and feel absurd, which is partly why it doesn't.
44
There can be something especially humiliating in having to say, I don't feel you took enough interest in the details of my lunch break,
45
or I'm 45 years old but not capable of sharing a TV remote control.
46
These truly are small issues for an adult to dwell on,
47
but the parts of us that make themselves vulnerable in love don't obey the ordinary adult rules.
48
The consequence is that the loving self dries up.
49
It doesn't want to have sex.
50
It gets sarcastic and irritable.
51
But it doesn't even know why it's like this.
52
It isn't putting on an act.
53
It's confused.
54
To learn to cope, we need a prominent mutual awareness
55
and forgiveness of this dynamic of sensitivity and distress and a commitment to decode it when disengagement and indifference descend.
56
We have to create a forum in which so -called minor love -sapping hurts can safely be aired,
57
without the other dismissing, as they always so easily can, the issues at stake as childish or imagined.
58
The touchiness of the loving self is ridiculous, if judged by the more robust standards of the rest of life.
59
But this is not the rest of life.
60
When we've gone cold, we may not truly have lost interest in our partners we might just need an opportunity to imagine
61
that we are quietly really rather hurt and furious with them.
62
And we should have access to a safe forum in which our tender but critical feelings can be aired, purged and understood without risk of humiliation.
63
Thank you.
Скачать приложение
Всё для свободной речи
ИИ-оценка произношенияОценка каждой фразы
Практика IPAОсвойте каждый звук
СловарьСоберите свой словарный запас
Игра со словамиУчитесь играя
Тот же канал
C158
Why Unloved People Hate Themselves #shorts #selfcare
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
C11
Why Love NEVER Lasts FOREVER
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C144
Why Socrates Hated Democracy
British AccentIELTS PrepTOEFL PrepUniversity Students
C12
PLATO ON: The Allegory of the Cave
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C1PHILOSOPHY - Schopenhauer
Daily ConversationUniversity Students
C17
Why Parents Bully Their Children
Daily ConversationUniversity Students
C132
The Secret to a Calm Life
British AccentDaily ConversationWorking Adults
C13
PHILOSOPHY - Plato
British AccentDaily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C17
Your Two Options in Love After a Bad Childhood
British AccentDaily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B210
LITERATURE - Charles Darwin
British AccentIELTS PrepTOEFL PrepUniversity Students
C11
How to Get Over Someone
British AccentUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C1621
The Point of Travel
British AccentTravel EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C14
POLITICAL THEORY - Karl Marx
British AccentIELTS PrepTOEFL PrepUniversity Students
C116
When Love Isn't Easy
British AccentDaily ConversationWorking Adults
C13
How To Get Over Rejection
British AccentBusiness EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
C18
How to Parent Yourself
British AccentBusiness EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C11
PHILOSOPHY - The Stoics
British AccentBusiness EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C18
Why We Should Refuse to Get Into Arguments
British AccentBusiness EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
C1112
What is Emotional Intelligence?
British AccentBusiness EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C17
How To Know Yourself
British AccentBusiness EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
FOR YOU
Рекомендуемое видео
C13
214 предложений
Fawning: The Survival Strategy That Turns Into Self-Abandonment | Fawning #2
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C12
86 предложений
Why Do We Stay in Relationships That Hurt Us?
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C11
229 предложений
The love You Attract Reveals Who You Are | Carl Jung
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C11
150 предложений
Why We Can't Save Those We Love
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C12
56 предложений
love without attachment
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C12
203 предложений
How To Rewire Your Brain | Andrew Huberman Motivation
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B25
91 предложений
6 Telltale Signs You're Feeling Numb
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C113
65 предложений
How Your Childhood Influence The Way You Express Love (love styles)
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B22
237 предложений
Sexuality Professor Answers Dating Questions | Tech Support | WIRED
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C14
117 предложений
this is enough.
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
Лексика и советы по произношению к этому уроку
Этот урок разговорной практики построен на видео «Why We Go Cold On Our Partners». Чаще всего повторяются слова: self, adult, hurt, loving, partner. В этом видео 28 предложений и 792 слов для шедоуинга. Речь длится 4:56. Говорящий говорит в естественном темпе, около 161 слов в минуту, близком к повседневной речи. Только 80% слов входят в 3000 самых частых слов английского языка, поэтому лексика сложная.
Ключевая лексика этого видео
15 слов из видео, которые стоит выучить, с произношением и значением:
| Слово | Произношение | Значение |
|---|---|---|
| vulnerable прилагательное | /ˈvʌln(ə)ɹəbl̩/ | уязви́мый, рани́мый |
| distress существительное | /dɪˈstɹɛs/ | го́ре, беда́ |
| bore глагол | /boɹ/ | надоеда́ть, надое́сть |
| explanation существительное | /ˌɛkspləˈneɪʃən/ | объясне́ние, разъясне́ние |
| ordinary прилагательное | /ˈɔɹdɪnɛɹi/ | обыкнове́нный, обы́чный |
| forum существительное | /ˈfɔːɹəm/ | фо́рум |
| tender прилагательное | /ˈtɛn.dɚ/ | не́жный, чувстви́тельный |
| inevitable прилагательное | /ɪˈnɛvɪtəbəl/ | неизбе́жный, немину́емый |
| consequence существительное | /ˈkɑn.sɪ.kwəns/ | после́дствие, сле́дствие |
| naturally наречие | /ˈnæt͡ʃ.(ə.)ɹə.li/ | есте́ственно |
| complicated прилагательное | /ˈkɑm.plɪˌkeɪ.tɪd/ | сло́жный, запу́танный |
| confused прилагательное | /kənˈfjuːzd/ | спу́танный, беспоря́дочный |
| thin прилагательное | /ˈθɪn/ | то́нкий |
| carefully наречие | /ˈkɛɹf(ə)li/ | осторо́жно, аккура́тно |
| ridiculous прилагательное | /ɹɪˈdɪk.jə.ləs/ | неле́пый |
Фразовые глаголы, которые вы услышите
| Слово | Значение |
|---|---|
| point out глагол | ука́зывать, указа́ть |
Грамматика в этом видео
Конструкции, которые говорящий использует чаще всего, с точными словами из видео:
| Конструкция | В видео |
|---|---|
| Пассивный залог be + причастие прошедшего времени — важно, что происходит, а не кто это делает | were formed · had been frustrated · would be measured |
| Present Perfect have/has + причастие прошедшего времени — прошлое действие, важное сейчас | haven't found · we've gone |
| Придаточные определительные who / which + предложение — уточнение о человеке или предмете | person who loves · absurd, which is |
Произношение, на которое стоит обратить внимание
Говорящий использует 18 сокращённых и редуцированных форм, например doesn't, don't, isn't. Произносите их коротко, так, как слышите.
- Звуки «th»: thin /ˈθɪn/, withdraw /wɪðˈdɹɔ/
- Звуки «sh» и «zh»: explanation /ˌɛkspləˈneɪʃən/, affection /əˈfɛk.ʃən/, childish /ˈt͡ʃaɪldɪʃ/, humiliation /hjuːˌmɪliˈeɪʃən/
- Длинные слова — следите за ударением: explanation /ˌɛkspləˈneɪʃən/, ordinary /ˈɔɹdɪnɛɹi/, inevitable /ɪˈnɛvɪtəbəl/, naturally /ˈnæt͡ʃ.(ə.)ɹə.li/, complicated /ˈkɑm.plɪˌkeɪ.tɪd/
Звуки, трудные для русскоязычных:
- /w/ — губы округлены, это не /v/: consequence /ˈkɑn.sɪ.kwəns/, awareness /əˈwɛɹ.nəs/, sandwich /ˈsæn(d).wɪd͡ʒ/, withdraw /wɪðˈdɹɔ/, dwell /dwɛl/
- /h/ — лёгкий выдох, а не русское «х»: hopeful /ˈhoʊpfl̩/, hugely /ˈhjuːd͡ʒli/, humiliation /hjuːˌmɪliˈeɪʃən/, humiliate /hjuːˈmɪliˌeɪt/
- Звонкие согласные в конце слова — не оглушайте их: complicated /ˈkɑm.plɪˌkeɪ.tɪd/, confused /kənˈfjuːzd/, ease /iz/, sandwich /ˈsæn(d).wɪd͡ʒ/, beard /bɪɹd/
Как заниматься с этим видео
- Прослушайте всё видео один раз молча и выпишите незнакомые слова.
- Начните со скорости 0,75×, повторяйте предложение за предложением и вернитесь к обычной скорости, когда станет легко.
- Запишите себя и сравните с оригиналом, обращая внимание на такие слова, как vulnerable, distress, bore.
Что такое техника Shadowing?
Shadowing — это научно обоснованная техника изучения языка, изначально разработанная для подготовки профессиональных переводчиков и популяризированная полиглотом доктором Александром Аргуэльесом. Метод прост, но эффективен: вы слушаете аудио на английском от носителей языка и немедленно повторяете вслух — как тень, следующая за говорящим с задержкой в 1–2 секунды. В отличие от пассивного прослушивания или грамматических упражнений, Shadowing заставляет мозг и мышцы рта одновременно обрабатывать и воспроизводить реальные речевые паттерны. Исследования показывают, что это значительно улучшает точность произношения, интонацию, ритм, связную речь, понимание на слух и беглость речи — что делает его одним из самых эффективных методов для подготовки к IELTS Speaking и реального общения на английском.